I’m sleeping much better and no longer feel that horrible suicidal pull that I had several months ago. Amazing what a little sleep gives you. My extreme fatigue isn’t easy but evidently I’m anemic, so hopefully an iron supplement will help.

Meanwhile I’m thinking I’ll undergo a blog redesign (”re” is pushing it — it’s more like an actual design for once) and get back to my original theme of dropping the weight once the baby arrives in September. Nothing like fall fashion to get me in the mood to lose the puff.

The problem is more than just annoying — after a year of an average of 5 hours of sleep, falling even farther off the sleep train is making me incredibly sluggish and far more depressed than I’d normally be at this stage of pregnancy. (The good news is that my morning sickness is getting manageable, so at least there’s that…) Edited to add: Um, when I say “far more depressed” I should give an example: Last week after about 3-4 hours of sleep a night and no napping to catch up, I was actually feeling borderline suicidal. All I could think was what a huge burden I am and how much better my husband and kids would be without me. In the cold light of day I know that’s not true, but at the time, things were looking awfully dark.

Sometimes I’m able to take a short nap in the afternoon, but my sleep debt is pretty big, so it doesn’t make a huge difference these days. My 14-month old is teething heavily, so she’s waking up a lot at night too. (We give her ibuprofen for the pain but as usual her urine gets really acidic when she’s teething so it irritates her little bottom terribly, even with Desitin slathered all over.)

Any suggestions on helping me catch some Zs? 

Answer more WFMW dilemmas this week at We are THAT Family.

And when  I went to my OB this week for a routine exam, she felt my neck and said “is your neck always this big?” Me: “?????!?” Turns out I have a very enlarged thyroid. AKA a goiter. Go google images, I dare ya.

Okay, now that you’ve picked yourself off the floor…. I have to go see a specialist and we’ll see what’s next. From what I can tell, all treatment is usually postponed during pregnancy, but it still has to be monitored. Of course now I feel like a sideshow freak with the swollen neck, but maybe this is the reason why I have felt so dead tired and muzzy-headed the last couple of years, even when I’m eating right and exercising. I’ve had my T4 levels tested and they always come back low but within normal range. But obviously something ain’t “normal” if it’s all blown up on one side. 

Meanwhile I’m having visions of a post-op Frankenstein scar and wearing scarves for the rest of my days. Isadora Duncan, I flutter my scarf in your general direction!

The good side of all this is that for a couple of days (after ditching a friend’s birthday party to puke in the parking lot — classy!) I forgot to take my Zofran and suddenly felt immensely better — no nausea whatsoever, not even those sudden retching spells. I wonder if the miraculous (and expensive: $3 each, and that’s with insurance) Z-pill been making me sick. This is one of those krazymaking weeks where the things that make you better make you sick. The things that make you sick make you better. (Okay, I’m still waiting for that last part to happen.)

But now that I’m finally crawling out of the stomach bug chasm of doom, I just may see light up ahead. If the Zofran has been part of the problem, and not taking it helps…. well, all I can do is test my little theory and hope I win some lottery trifecta of no flu, no nausea, no nuthin’. 

Because I really do want to get back to the gym.

And of course, that means I’ll be exercising again and eating better. The awful morning sickness tends to make me leery of going out of the house, and I’m ready to have that change immediately!

But doggone it. Pregnancy makes green veggies smell like the foulest thing known to man — and I say this with 2 kids in diapers in the house. 

So my bright idea is to let someone else cook the veggies! Luckily we have some fab Thai and Indian restaurants near our neighborhood, with a Lebanese cafe even closer that does vegetable dishes even better than their meat entrees. So now I’m loading up on mutter paneer, aloo saag, various Thai curries, and a plethora of mezza plates: roasted cauliflower, roasted swiss chard with lemon, and more. 

Piggybacking on my local chefs and ordering in the sides works for me! (For more Works For Me Wednesday Ideas, consult Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer.)

(I actually wrote this post last week but couldn’t get it up on the Mr. Linky list. I hope you don’t mind reading it today!)

Next morning I feel… different. Nothing I could put my finger on. And my face was breaking out — who still breaks out at 38? Ugh. I rummaged for a test, couldn’t find one, and ran to the drugstore on my way to another appointment. I was a half-hour early and after fidgeting for 20 minutes decided I just couldn’t stand the suspense. I took the test, saw one line, and felt… disappointed. Oh well — I checked my makeup, washed my hands, picked up the test to throw it away, and saw — TWO lines!

Needless to say, this changes the focus of this blog, at least for the next several months, to not putting on more than 15 lbs through the pregnancy. Three kids in 4 years STILL doesn’t mean I can’t try to keep myself at fighting weight!

(Like the baby booties? Find the crochet pattern at this etsy shop.)